Archive for December, 2011

What we had in mind…

Looking back at my last post I was so excited, filled with so much anticipation, that Evelyn’s next neutrophil numbers would put her over 1000 and she wouldn’t be neutropenic anymore!  As my Pastor said this past Sunday “Sometimes the plans of the Lord seem to cut short what we had in mind.”  And that is exactly how I must look at our situation, as “the plans of the Lord”.   Today was what some would call a bitter sweet day.  We had great news and not so great news.  The not so great is that Evelyn’s neutrophils (the type of white blood cells that fight infection), have gone down significantly again.  I had hoped that the drop in numbers a few weeks ago was an anomaly and not a pattern, but unfortunately that wasn’t so.  We are looking to be over 1650, three months ago we were at 812, and it was many months we waited to arrive there, and over the last month an a half she was 510, 310 and now 220.  It’s overwhelming, a bit scary, how low will they go, why is this happening again?  We are praying for the Lord to reveal the root!  Last week when I received the news that it was 310 I began to cry.  The kids were concerned and hugging me.  Annabelle asked why I was crying and I just said that Evelyn’s blood count wasn’t what mommy had hoped for, but that we just have to trust God…  She looked at me with such pure faith and said “Well, if we’re trusting God, then I don’t know why you’re cry’n..”  So great, so powerful!  Amen Annabelle!

The Great News!
After meeting with Evelyn’s neurologist today, the plan is to begin weaning Evelyn off of her seizure medication starting tomorrow! That’s a “Praise God and Yikes!” all in one!  In six weeks Evelyn will be off of her medication!  As I talked today about the Lord provision it was so wonderful to have her Dr. encourage me that Evie will do just fine, because “you have your faith.”  So true!  God is not in the business of half healing,  when He heals, He  heals.  Life is life, death is death, healed is healed!  Her brain has been made well, it has come into alignment, God is faithful!  We pray for continued strength, that the things of this world won’t leave us with fret and worry, that our eyes will be fixed on Him, filled with trust and peace!

I am confident tonight as I feel His presence, His consoling warmth, I am assured that He sees me where I am at.  I know that every moment we face as a family, every circumstance we find ourselves in, all of it has passed through the hands of God.  Though it was never His desire for it to be this way, the world is fallen and is fading away and with that comes trials and tribulations, sickness and disease…  But in all of this, as my God is not taken by surprise at all by what we are facing, I know He is holding up our family, carefully navigating us through this treacherous land in order to bring us to safety, to victory, to the other-side!  Now my choice – how would I like to get there, it’s completely up to me, with fret and worry or with faith and trust.  I tell you tonight that my heart is heavy for my baby girl whom I just want to be well, but I will have faith, I will trust, despite the ‘feelings’ that arise and would attempt to take my eyes off of the things of God and all He wants to show me.

Matthew 11:28-30
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Thank you for all of your continued prayers! We are praying for daily direction and for wisdom!  Please pray for Callen and Annabelle, it has been clear to me that my heart is not the only one that has been heavy… praying for all three of the most special children in my world, and of course for Todd who continues to be the rock in our family, modeling Christ, bringing the peace of God to my sometimes weary soul!

We praise you Lord!
Jill

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